In response to my blog Be Happy and Be Powerful! I received this question;
“How do we develop “positive” focus John, i.e. on our strengths rather than weaknesses? How do we control our limiting and negative beliefs which rob us of focus?”
This is a great question and one that I think all of us struggle with from time to time. It is human nature I think to allow ourselves to fall into negativity, to concentrate on our weakness, our inabilities and our failures.
Unfortunately there is no easy answer, no magic, no way to achieve the positive in our lives without practice and hard work. It sounds trite but just say no; no to the negative in your life. I like to think of life as a 100 item buffet. If you like fried chicken you will be drawn to the pan with all of those delicious golden brown pieces. But it is important that you try new things. We should all have the positive attitude of my 93 year old Aunt, Sr. Lois. She would say “I’m glad I tried that. I wouldn’t have it again, but I’m glad I tried it.” If you try liver and find you don’t like it then you don’t have to take any the next time. At least you will be making your decision based on firsthand experience. Just say no to the items you tried and don’t like and you can enjoy all that is there that you do like.
You also cannot think in terms of weakness but rather of opportunity. Your weakness is just another opportunity that we are granted to improve. Try, try and try again. You have to be the little engine that could!
There are things you do routinely every morning; get up, put on your glasses or put your contacts in, shower, get dressed, feed the dogs, or check your email. You have to add check your attitude. Is it positive, productive? Will you and the world be a better place today? You have the power within to make a positive difference. You have to choose to do so.
There are negative people whose job it is to bring you down. To point out everything that is wrong, the Chicken Little sky is falling type of people. Sometimes being positive means eliminating those people from your life or at least limiting your contact with them. In my post Your Swimming Pool, Your Life I talk about the power you have to control who is in your life. When you surround yourself with positive and powerful people, you become positive and powerful.
As human beings we respond to our surroundings. Being in an angry mob can swallow us up and get us angry even if we don’t know what we are angry about. Being in a group of happy people at a party can do the same thing, swallow us up and make us happy. You can choose which event you want to go to.
There are a lot of things we can be negative about; our jobs, our family, our friends or relationships, or our life in general. There are a lot of things we can be positive about; our jobs, our family, our friends or relationships, or our life in general. It is the old glass is half empty for some and half full for others. It is up to you and you alone as to how much is in your glass.
How do we develop positive focus? How do we control limiting and negative beliefs?
You and you alone have the power within you to put up your invisible force field that reflects negativity; negative people, negative activities and negative environments.
You and you alone have the power within you to be a magnet to attract good and positive; positive people, positive activities and positive environments.
Practice and concentrate on what is good and positive in your life!
Great examples, John and for a theme I am very fond of repeating too! Congratulations on the WeBlog interview. Came by here from that.
May you be inspired – everyday!
It is the truth, and we need to remember everyday that it is our choice to be positive or not. And practice it until is like you said part of your daily routine!
Keep sharing your wisdom!
WOW! Thank you so much for this wonderful post. I’ve been surrounded with negative environments from my very childhood days. You just lifted me up to a whole new level. Thanks! Really… thanks!
A quote from Shakespear, I wish I could remember which play. Any one know?
“Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt”
The Shakespear play is “Measure by Measure”, Act 1.
John I start with the premise that perfect is not on the menu most days and go from there. Years ago I developed a personal mission statement .I read it for a few seconds every morning and try to adhere to it each day. It is a simple task that brings focus and a basic sense of purpose to my day
Ask yourself: How can I take immediate control of my life…through my weakness or my strengths? What can I do today that can make a difference, that could help me and others to shape our lives? How can I expand, learn, grow, and share that knowledge with others in a meaningful and enjoyable way?
I live by the “Garden Rule”. Everyone is given a garden with lots of seeds. Some are seeds which grow into food for the good of the mind, body and soul. Other seeds may be like invasive weeds, clogging up our “garden” and, left to grow wild, make more work for us. Both seed choices will grow, given attention and space. So I choose to nurture the good seeds in my life. I determine which “plants” are the weeds, tackle them early and head-on, and enjoy the fruits of my positive harvest.
Angie, in the garden poem is there any room for flowers. Art for the sake of art.
Sometimes it is only through the replaying of past events that we can ultimately find the lessons and strength that they can teach us. I’m merely saying that I believe there is too much emphasis in the whole “positive thinking” movement on forgetting the past. As someone much wiser than me said: Those who do not learn from the past are condemned to repeat it.”
Modern culture overall has committed the serious flaw of thinking we are too “evolved” to need to learn from the past. I see individuals doing the same things – they plunge blindly ahead in their lives and can’t, for the life of them, understand why things don’t change for them.
In addition, holding those we have lost – and I have lost many family members, some under very tragic circumstances – close to us, not forgetting, but rather cherishing their memory, makes us richer people in my opinion. I think when people focus on forgetting the past they are too often in denial rather than having reached any kind of real revelation.
, I think the basic problem is turning the observation that our experience happens here and now into a command – forget the past and don’t envisage the future.
The difference is that the observation can include our memory and anticipation – these too happen here and now.
I think the ‘be here now’ idea is an invitation to engage more deeply with our experience, instead of trying to ignore some of it.
I think it also shows that we should be careful how we formulate our insights – if the slogan had been “Engage” instead of ‘be here now’ much confusion could have been avoided I think. (Though I don’t think all confusion could have been avoided.)
The deeper question is what it is to be human I think. For me we are social beings – and this means historically shaped too.