Mar072011

11 Leadership Styles to Avoid

Leadership is a personal if not almost elusive concept. What is leadership? What does it mean to you? How do you decide if your leadership is effective or not? Different people lead in different ways, at different times, in different situations. While what works and what doesn’t may depend on the individual leading and on the situation, there are certain styles that you should avoid.

This article was written by Mike Michalowicz , Author of The Toilet Paper Entrepreneur and I think it holds a great deal of common sense and practical applications.

Leadership is one of those things that every successful entrepreneur must have in order to succeed, but identifying what good leadership entails may not always be clear-cut for everyone. So just what kind of leadership style should you have? You can weed them out by taking a look at these 11 leadership styles that you must avoid if you want to succeed.

 

1.  Providing Too Much Info. You look like a know-it-all. People are less likely to share their ideas, because you will just roll over them with your own “better” ideas. The Fix: Next time you have a better idea, don’t just share it. Instead, invite your colleagues to build on the idea and come up with an even better solution.

 

2.  Using “But” or “However.” These words simply mean that you don’t approve. “I like your idea, but…” “I will consider what you are saying, however….” Your intention may be to try to soften the blow. But in reality you are not. Instead of jabbing a knife into their gut, you are stabbing it into their back. The Fix: Stop using those words, and don’t look for another work-around to pass down your criticisms. Just stop using the words.

 

3.  Sharing Your “Smart” Stories. If you add to discussions by sharing the smart stuff you have done, you are pointing to an inferiority complex. You feel you need to puff out your chest in order to get noticed. No one likes a bragger. The Fix: Recognize that the most successful leaders have an “air” around them. They don’t need to brag and show off. They simply bring confidence to the table.

 

4.  Communicating When Angry. Sharing your thoughts when you are angry can be dangerous. Emotions will cause outbursts and may do irreparable harm. The Fix: Remove yourself physically from a situation that makes you angry. Then give yourself a 24-hour break. (You need to get one sleep cycle in.) You will be in a better position to talk when your emotions are not dominating.

 

5.  Withholding Helpful Knowledge. Keeping secrets that adversely affect other people’s performance is another sign of an inferiority complex. And when people find out you held them back, you will lose their trust. The Fix: Ask yourself what else you can share to help others. Then share it.

 

 

6.  Failure to Give Individual Recognition. This is simply another version of “all for me, none for you.” You are keeping all the credit, and others don’t feel that you value them. The Fix: When a project is completed successfully, publicly recognize the individual contributions everyone made.

 

7.  Claiming Credit You Don’t Deserve. This may be even worse than not giving credit to others. In this case, you are actually stealing it from them. Not only are you a jerk, you are a thief, too. The Fix: It is far better to give someone else credit for something you have done than the reverse.

 

8.  Making Excuses. The buck stops with leaders. If a leader makes an excuse, they lose credibility and integrity. When Bill Clinton was president and had the Monica situation, what were your thoughts about his excuses and denials? (And I quote “It depends on what the meaning of ‘is’ is.”) Kind of lost his credibility and integrity, right? Don’t do the same thing. The Fix: Next time you are thinking of an excuse, instead make it a declaration of what you will permanently fix.

 

9.  Refusing to Apologize. Everyone makes mistakes. And everyone hates someone who can’t admit to their own. The Fix: Apologize quickly, apologize fully, and mention an action that you are going to take to fix – or at least improve – the situation.

 

10.  Not Listening. This is a problem of many leaders (and something I admittedly struggle with). It is a bad problem. It says only one thing, loud and clear, to the person speaking: that you don’t care. The Fix: Remove yourself from physical distractions (e.g., e-mail, crackberry, etc.), lock eyes with the person, and repeat back the stuff they tell you.

 

11.  Punishing the Messenger. Bad news can be reported from any source, and bad leaders attack the source. These leaders lose trust, and bad news gets pushed under the rug. The Fix: Recognize that bad news is critical to your success, because you need it in order to improve and fix problems. The next time bad news is reported to you, be extremely grateful that that person was willing to tell you.

 

Dancing your way through all the leadership styles that you should avoid may take some practice, but you will become a more effective leader, once you are able to do it and focus more attention on what it takes to be a great leader.

 

John Quincy Adams said it best, when he reminded us: “If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.” If you fall short of that – and many entrepreneurs make the mistake of doing so – then your business will suffer.

 

Feb172011

CVB Meeting

Jan232011

We are Already Where We Need to Be

As human beings we are always trying to get somewhere. Many of us seek some standard of success that we think will bring happiness or validation from the world. Even those of us involved in the personal growth and consciousness process still have the idea that we certainly don’t want to be where we are – we’re trying to get somewhere better. And when we get to that place, everything will be right somehow. Yet, consciousness cannot be found somewhere else; it happens through becoming aware of where we are right now.

Trying to get somewhere else takes us away from appreciating the process. When we begin to enjoy the process itself, we can stop worrying and become completely involved in the fascinating journey that’s unfolding each moment in each day.

Today I am not trying to get somewhere else. I’m focusing on being aware of where I am NOW.

From: Awakening, A Daily Guide to Conscious Living, by Shakti Gawain

Jan032011

The Window from Which We Look

Too often we see only what we want to see.  Perhaps we need to look more closely.

A middle-aged couple moved into a new neighborhood.

At breakfast on the first morning in their new kitchen, the woman saw her neighbor hanging her laundry on a clothesline.

“Those clothes are not very clean,” she said. “She doesn’t know how to wash correctly.  Perhaps she needs better laundry soap.” Her husband looked out the window at the neighbor’s backyard, but remained silent.

Every time her neighbor would hang out her laundry to dry, the woman would make the same comment.

About one month later, the woman was surprised to see nice clean clothes on the clothesline and said to her husband:  “Look, she finally learned how to wash correctly.  I wonder who taught her.”

The husband said, “I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows.”

And so it is with life.

What we see when watching others depends on the clarity of the window through which we look.

How clean are your windows?

Dec312010

HAPPY NEW YEAR !

As we prepare to Celebrate the New Year,

Take time for friends,

They are the source of happiness.

Take time for work,

It is the price of success.

Take time to think,

It is the source of power.

Take time to read,

It is the foundation of knowledge.

Take time to laugh,

It is laughter that helps with life’s loads.

Take time to play,

It is the secret of youth.

Take time to say hello to a stranger,

It broadens your circle of friends.

Take time to love,

It is the one sacrament of life.

Take time to dream,

It hitches the soul to the stars.

Celebrate safely,

Enjoy your holiday.

Looking forward to a Fantastic 2011!

Happy New Year!

John

Dec222010

I Wish You Enough

Enough Joy, that any sadness you experience will be brief.

Enough Friends, that you will always have someone to lean on.

Enough Health, that any illness you have will be slight.

Enough Family, that you will never be alone.

Enough confidence, that you will always stand up for yourself.

Enough Love, that you will always have inner happiness.

Enough Faith, that you will always believe.

Enough Food, to nourish yourself, your family, your friends and someone who is less fortunate.

Enough Sense of Fairness, that you would not prejudice.

Enough Money, to buy what you need, enough left to buy a few things you want, enough to save a little and enough to give away.

Enough Sense of Pride, to accept whom you are.

Enough Compassion, to comfort someone who is suffering.

Enough Inner Strength, to stand up for what you believe.

Enough Work Ethic, to do the best job you can.

Enough Inner Child, to find the joy in play.

Enough Time, to share with an old person.

Enough Forgiveness, of self and others.

Enough of Seeing Yourself in others, that hatred is eliminated.

Enough Patience, to listen.

Enough Warmth, that you are never cold.

Enough Sympathy, to support someone in need.

Enough Self-Respect, that you would not compromise integrity.

Enough Empathy, to feel another’s pain and suffering.

Enough Music, to make your soul dance.

Enough Teacher, to educate a child.

Enough Inspiration, to create a new masterpiece.

Enough Risk, to discover new passions.

Enough Determination, to complete your mission.

Enough Knowledge, to know that you can always learn more.

Enough Kindness, to befriend the friendless.

Enough Heart, to make an impact.

Enough Gifts, to make a positive, lasting impression on someone’s life.

Enough Dreams, to dream.

Enough Wisdom, to see the beauty in Everything and Everyone.

I Wish You Enough.

John Slimp- Author

Dec212010

Can the Season be 52 Weeks?

Isabel Van Heerden posted this on Facebook: What we are today is result of our own past actions. Whatever we wish to be in future depends on our present actions; decide how you have to act now. We are responsible for what we are, whatever we wish ourselves to be. We have the power to make ourselves.

This statement ties in with the movie I watched last night for about the 30th time, Scrooge.

If you were visited by the Ghost of Christmas Past, would you be proud of what he showed you or embarrassed? Would you openly claim your past actions or try to deny them?

If you were visited by the Ghost of Christmas Present would you say ‘that’s me and I am a fair, accepting and honest person’?

If you were visited by the Ghost of Christmas to come, would you look with joy upon what you were shown? Would you be happy with the person you are yet to become?

We cannot change what has been, we can only work on what will be.

I wonder what it is about this time of year that makes people seem, well, nicer.

Maybe it’s a resurrection in people’s religious beliefs, maybe it’s a belief in Santa or maybe it’s the cold and all the snow. Whatever it is, I must say I like it.  People really do seem to be nicer. They smile at strangers on the street, they send cards to friends, family and almost lost relationships, they put change in a bucket outside of stores, and they have parties and sing songs, make charitable donations and buy gifts for a lot of various people. They put aside their differences and just seem more accepting.

But why, why now, why this time of the year and why ONLY this time of the year? I am happy and grateful but I have to ask “Why just these two weeks? What about the other 50 weeks in the year?”  What do we have to do as a ‘people’ to get this magical Season to last all year?

Perhaps everyone has seen Scrooge this time of year and it serves as a wakeup call to us. Maybe we don’t want to arrive at the place we are currently headed. Maybe we want to change our behaviors so that our future reflects what we want it to be.

Perhaps we should watch the movie Scrooge more often.

Dec202010

A Letter to Santa Claus

We’ll start with “A Letter to Santa Claus” originally intended for a girl to give as a school recitation at a Christmas programme.  It is taken from The American Speaker and Writer, circa 1908.  We find it both charming and thought-provoking, and hope you will, too.


A Letter to Santa Claus

Blessed old Santa Claus! King of delights!
What are you doing these long winter nights?
Filling your budgets with trinkets and toys -
Wonderful gifts for the girls and the boys?
While you are planning for everything nice,
Pray let me give you a bit of advice.

Don’t take it hard, if I say in your ear,
Santa, I think you were partial last year;
Loading the rich folks with everything gay,
Snubbing the poor ones who came in your way:
Now, of all times in the year, I am sure,
This is the time to remember the poor.

Little red hands that are aching with cold,
You should have mittens your fingers to hold;
Poor little feet, with your frost-bitten toes,
You should be clothed in the warmest of hose.
On the dark hearth I would kindle a light,
Till the sad faces were happy and bright.

Don’t you think, Santa, if all your life through,
Some one had always been caring for you,
Watching to guard you by night and by day,
Giving you gifts you could never repay,
Sometimes, at least, you would sigh to recall
How many children have nothing at all?

Safe in your own quiet chamber at night,
Cozy and warm in your blankets so white,
Wouldn’t you think of the shivering forms
Out in the cold and the wind and the storms?
Wouldn’t you think of the babies who cry,
Pining in hunger and cold till they die?

Blessed old Nick!  I was sure, if you knew it,
You would remember, and certainly do it;
This year, at least, when you open your pack,
Pray give a portion to all who may lack;
Then if you chance to have anything over,
Bring a small gift to your friend – Kitty Clover.

Nov172010

I Sometimes Wonder

I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be blind. I think a lot of us are because we fail to see the opportunities before us, the joy we can bring to others or our own greatness. We tend to see only our failures or our missed opportunities.

I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be deaf. I think a lot of us are because we fail to hear the silent cries of help from our family and friends. We fail to hear the joy of children laughing, of birds singing or of the beautiful whisper of the wind through the trees.

I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be mute. I think a lot of us are because we fail to speak the truth, to stand up and speak for others who have no voice because of abuse or who are discriminated against.

I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have a lack of feeling. I think a lot of us lack feeling because we fail to feel the pain we have caused others or even ourselves.

I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have no hands. I think a lot of us have no hands because we do not reach out to others who might need us, we aren’t comfortable giving a warm embrace or worse yet, we have no one to embrace.

I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have no feet. I think a lot of us seem to have no feet because we don’t know what it is like to walk in someone else’s shoes, we don’t know what it is like to go the extra mile in order to help someone in need.

I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have no brain. I think a lot of us have no brain because we don’t always put the necessary thought into our actions, we don’t think about how we treat others, how we treat ourselves, or think about how we can make this world a better place.

I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have all of my senses, all of my limbs and all of my faculties. I sometimes wonder if I could be a better human being if I actually used everything I have been given.

I sometimes wonder…

Oct052010

Are you a Cracked Pot?

Each of us has imperfections, flaws, and a crack in our armor. Such is life.

The problem lies not in the fact that we have cracks, but that we focus on our flaws and not on our contributions. We do not see our true accomplishments but rather how our accomplishments pale in comparison to someone else’s. We spend our time comparing ourselves to others when we should be comparing ourselves to ourselves.

Instead of putting so much time thinking about what we cannot do, how we fall short of our goals, our mission or purpose, we should spend more time celebrating what we can do, how we achieve what no one else is able to.

True friends know we have cracks but instead of condemning us for them, they help us find ways to use our flaws. They help to redirect us, re-focus us on what we do well. They help us spread beauty by using our flaws to our advantage. We need to focus on turning the negative into a positive, to see the glass as half full instead of half empty.

The next time you think your cracks are too big, or that someone else is better than you are because they seem to have no flaws, no cracks, think of this story:

~~An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a
pole which she carried across her neck.

One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and
always delivered a full portion of water.

At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked
pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home
only one and a half pots of water.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments.

But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and
miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to
the woman one day by the stream.

‘I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to
leak out all the way back to your house.’

The old woman smiled, ‘Did you notice that there are flowers on your
side of the path, but not on the other pot’s side?’

‘That’s because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower
seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you
water them.’

For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to
decorate the table.

Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty
to grace the house.’

Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it’s the cracks and flaws we
each have that make our lives together so very interesting and
rewarding.

You’ve just got to take each person for what they are and look for the
good in them.~~

May you always look for the greatness in others as well as in yourself.

Celebrate your Cracks!