Monthly Archives: April 2010

Do You Appreciate You?

Appreciation, according to Dictionary.com, means “gratitude, thankful recognition.”

You might find yourself able to appreciate a flower, a beautiful sunset, the magnificence of a star filled sky, a gift, a kindness from a friend but what about being able to appreciate you? Can you appreciate your gifts and talents, your uniqueness?

When you think about it appreciation just means finding yourself becoming sensitive in new ways to ideas, concepts, events and people. You might recognize one day what a parent, mentor, teacher or friend did for you and you feel appreciative of them and their efforts. By focusing on appreciation you can answer the question that all leaders (and we are all leaders in some way) need to ask: How do I grow and develop? How do I become more of who I am and who I am meant to be? All of our relationships are influenced by our understandings and how we behave and all of this stems from appreciation.

Once you are aware and accept that your growth comes from appreciation you find that there is so much to be appreciative for; new people, new cultures, new experiences, events, art, music and history. You can see the dark and the light, good times and bad times; you can appreciate what joy brings and even what sadness and suffering can bring. Everyone and everything around us wants to be appreciated, including ourselves.

Perhaps the most important of these appreciations is self appreciation. I am not talking about excessive self importance or being egotistical, but I am talking about more than just self acceptance. Self appreciation should be a part of your life for it is as essential to your growth as are air, food and water.

To have self appreciation you need to appraise yourself. To start the appraisal process, imagine that you meet you, your clone for the first time. Do you like you? Would you want to be your friend? Do you appreciate you for what you do for others or for what you bring to the world? Hopefully the answer is YES!

You should not judge yourself but rather you should appreciate your contributions! You should not measure your worth by your job, money, status, appearance or age. Why would you under appreciate YOU? You need to appreciate who you are and your contributions and you don’t have to lie about your talents, values, short-comings, career choice or anything else!

Once you accept and appreciate yourself you can now accept and appreciate people who are different than you. Regardless if people share your values and experiences or have different ones they all contribute to your life, and all contributions should be appreciated.

You can have richness in your life and an appreciation for your life once you put your focus on what works for you, what embellishes your life, what increases your energy and what makes you happy.

Appreciation is a way to bring more positive experiences into your life.

Self appreciation is the foundation of your life. Self appreciation is being able to appreciate everything that you are, all the successes and failures, the good experiences and the bad ones, the good relationships and the not so good ones, all of your talents and all of your opportunities and all of your potential.

We have music appreciation courses and art appreciation courses; we need a SELF APPRECIATION course!

Start by listing three things that you appreciate about yourself.

1.

2.

3.

Now share those three things with your family and friends and post your comments on the blog for all to see and celebrate!

You are a pretty special person aren’t you!

I appreciate you: do you?

Life is full of bumps and bruises

“Life is full of bumps and bruises. It’s what you learn from it and what you do with it that makes you who you are.”
Author Unknown

This quote got me thinking about how people go about their lives. Life is not a smooth ride. Some people, when they hit a bump, give up and turn around while others find a ways to go over the bump or around it. I believe that everyone should tackle these bumps and find a way to conquer them.

So when you reach a bump on the road called life, don’t give up because you’re not the only person to ever reach that particular bump and you won’t be the last.

Be an example for your followers!

So ask yourself the next time you are approaching a bump; will I turn around and go the other way because it might be easier, or will I follow the road I started on, the road to my goals and deal with the bumps?

When you lose someone you love…

When you lose someone you love, you are only losing their physical presence.

You will never lose the beautiful memories you built together.

It is OK to be sad. Sad for you and sad for the world that they did not have the chance to experience the greatness of the person lost.

Never be sad for the person, for whether we believe it or not, it was their time to go.

The love you shared, the experiences you had and the beautiful memories will be yours forever.

We will all see our loved ones again. Sometimes we just need to trust in what we cannot understand.

Everything is Fast, Except…..

It seems that the world is going faster and faster and we are going faster and faster to try to keep up. Almost everything can be done faster and easier.

There are all sorts of recipes for 5 minute diners; you can throw a meal in the micro-wave.

You can go to a fast food drive-thru, although often times maybe not so fast!

If you have a headache you can pop any one of a hundred different kinds of pills.

We can take performance enhancers to make us run faster.

You can drive fast, talk fast, eat fast and work fast.

You can pull up a movie on your computer or order one on TV.

You can record your favorite shows so that you can fast forward through the commercials and the boring spots.

You can pay your bills and taxes on line.

You can get married fast at a drive thru chapel never having to leave your car or turn off your engine.

You can get booze at a drive thru liquor store.

You can go through money and relationships fast.

Fast, fast, fast and faster that’s the way we roll!

There are 3 things where fast does not apply; Love, Wisdom and Success.

You can be infatuated or in lust fast, but it takes time and attention to really fall and stay in love. Love grows slowly and deeply and cannot be rushed. It must be nurtured, given attention and developed over time.

You can be smart. You can get a degree fast, over the summer, on weekends, on line. Wisdom however, comes over time with age and maturity. Wisdom comes with slowing down, putting things into perspective and understanding what is really important. Wisdom comes by taking life’s experiences and learning from them.

The third is success. There is no overnight success.  It takes time, passion, patience, dedication and hard work to be successful. Success comes from practicing your craft, from turning mistakes into triumphs.

Now the choice is yours. You can keep doing things fast or you can work at the three things that are important and that take time; Love, Wisdom and Success.

Hard Work

Hard work is painful when life is devoid of purpose. But when you live for something greater than yourself and the gratification of your own ego, then hard work becomes a labor of love.

- Steve Pavlina

What is your labor of love? Hard work is just hard work unless you are working to improve a situation, yourself or the world. Make sure your work is for the greater good and not for your own self-centeredness.

Holding on to anger …

Holding on to anger is like holding on to a burning red hot coal.
The longer you hold on to it the more it burns, the more it hurts and the more damage it does.
The longer you hold on to it the longer it takes for the wound to heal.
What red hot anger coal are you holding on to?
Let it go!

- John Slimp

Any time you tolerate mediocrity …

Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your mediocrity.
An important attribute in successful people is their impatience with negative thinking and negative acting people.

- Colin Powell

“The Wolves Within”

We all have conflict and drama in our lives. Some of it is real; some of it is exaggerated or even imaginary. Yes, conflict and drama do exist but it is up to us how we handle it. We all have wolves within that fight over control of our emotions but we control which wolf we feed.

You need to ask yourself is it worth the strain and stress it puts on you and your relationships. What caused the conflict or anger? Were you a victim or the aggressor? Were you the fire extinguisher or the match?

Our goal should be to live in harmony, the whole do unto others theory.  We are not born angry people, we allow ourselves to become that way. We feel sorry for ourselves when things are not going our way. We strike out unfairly at those around us. We knock others down so that we can feel raised up.

Have you had an injustice forced upon you? Was it intentional, real or was it your perception? Did someone make you angry or hurt you? How did you feel and what action did you take?

You need to put these things into perspective.

Here is your exercise for today:

  • List 3 people who you feel did you an injustice
  • List the perceived injustices
  • Assign a number between 1 and 10 to each
  • 10 being the highest, it will negatively affect you for the rest of your life
  • Think about how much time, attention and energy you have wasted on this
  • Is it worth it?

Time on this earth is short. We are all like milk, we have an expiration date. Do you really want to spend that time on situations that don’t really matter?

This is an old Cherokee Folk story that is well worth reading:

An old Grandfather said to his grandson, who came to him with anger at a friend who had done him an injustice, “Let me tell you a story.

I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do.

But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times.” He continued, “It is as if there are two wolves inside me. One is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him, and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way.

But the other wolf, ah! He is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger, for his anger will change nothing.

Sometimes, it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit.”

The boy looked intently into his Grandfather’s eyes and asked, “Which one wins, Grandfather?”

The Grandfather smiled and quietly said, “The one I feed.”

So my question to you is which one are you feeding?

Establishing your Purpose

Before you can formulate your life plan, to establish your Purpose, you need to take inventory of your assets, strengths, liabilities and opportunities. Where and how are you unique? What can you offer others? What weaknesses do you need to address?

Before you can prepare a plan or establish your purpose you must know where you stand. Where does your greatness lie, what are you passionate about? How do you bring joy and inspiration to others?

Perhaps you bring joy and beauty to the world by growing beautiful flowers and plants like Lori Murphy. Maybe you are a florist like Terri Bath who brings joy to others through beautiful creations, even at times of sadness. A photographer like Michael Barone brings insight and a new perspective to life through his photographs.

You can bring comfort and inspiration to others through the pain that you have experienced like Yvonne Selle whose small child has cancer, or Diane Bucci who lost a child.

You need to take a personal assessment:

Strengths: We know we will succeed when we use our innate talents and abilities to their fullest. Unfortunately most people do not pay enough attention to their skill set or focus on their unique talents to discover what their significant advantage is. You cannot achieve greatness or establish your purpose until you recognize your strengths.

Weaknesses: Just like your strengths you must identify, recognize and face your weaknesses. You must work to improve or eliminate those traits or issues that stand in your way. You can avoid pain, difficulties and setbacks by working to eliminate or at least diminish your weaknesses.

Opportunities: We are presented with opportunities every day, we are surrounded by them. We are constantly given opportunities to improve someone’s life, to bring joy and inspiration, to be an example of passion and greatness. It is unfortunate that most of us do not pay attention to what is right in front of us, that we don’t notice or accept the chances that we hold in our hand to have a positive impact on others.

People like Ellen Carter and Beth Neybert grabbed the opportunity to be an inspiration to others through their ability to be positive about life even after they both lost their husbands at a far too young age.

Vicky Jasper and my Father took the opportunity to provide an inspiring example of strength by battling cancer and winning!

Yes, opportunities present themselves to us in all sorts of ways.

All of these things present us with an opportunity to establish our greatness and to define our purpose.

Lin L. wrote that her purpose was “Contribution – I teach, I volunteer, I grow, I give back, and I lead by example. All of these things contribute to the betterment of me, my friends, co-workers, students, and sometimes even a stranger or two. And when those times occur that I do lose my way, I am privileged to let others contribute to my betterment and put me back on the road to my true purpose.”

Denny B. said her purpose was “Presence: It is through presence – being fully aware in the present moment — that I become a channel for Higher Consciousness, through which understanding, compassion, peace, inspiration, joy, creativity, and passion can flow. “

And finally Alejandro C. said that his purpose was “Empower!
To spiritually, mentally and emotionally empower other human beings. “

So now that you have taken an assessment of your strengths, weaknesses and opportunities, what will you define as your purpose?

What is your Purpose?

In ONE word, what is your purpose?

I believe all of us are on this earth for a purpose. We are designed for that purpose. Every action we take or words we speak, relationships we build and interactions we have support that purpose.

My personal conviction and belief is that all of us are world-class at something (our purpose). Regrettably, many of us never discover it. We sometimes just go through the motions of life without reflecting or focusing on what our purpose in life is.

Have you discovered your purpose yet?

From my experience, you can distill your purpose down to one word. That one word can then be used as a reference point for your life. Whatever you are facing you can ask the question:

“Does this align or resonate with my purpose?” If it does, keep going. If it doesn’t you might need to re-think your purpose.

To get you started and to serve as an example, my purpose is: CHALLENGE. All that I am and do is about challenging people so they are more on purpose and living to their potential.

I CHALLENGE people to:

  • Re-think priorities
  • Give of their talents
  • Teach someone
  • Believe in something or someone
  • Challenge the statues-quo
  • Walk in others’ shoes before they judge
  • Challenge themselves
  • Discover who they are
  • Think
  • Accept their greatness
  • Work to minimize shortcomings
  • Work smart
  • Be the Leader others want to follow
  • Turn potential into greatness

What is your purpose, and how do you live it?

Please post your PURPOSE.